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The Past

from Bloody Knees by Precious Child

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about

This song and story is about the same subject as much of my music. When I was young I experienced a lot of abuse but I never cried; I repressed and internalized my feelings until I was 17 years old. When growing up, I experienced loneliness, rejection and resultantly, hatred of myself and of the world. When my feelings surfaced, I had to make a choice- to stay numb and live a plasticine life, or embrace myself no matter how much it hurt. I decided to become whole, and to be honest with my feelings and search for and merge with my shadow self.

“The Past” is about thinking I could escape, that I had escaped my past. I did not escape. I couldn’t, I can’t, and I never will. What’s done is gone and my memories will always be with me, shaping me, dominating me, controlling me. The best I can do is to embrace them and recognize who I am. The song is all about my strongest feelings surfacing emerging; rage, despair, vengeance, and my spiritual quest to be whole.

lyrics

A path to close your eyes
Your whole life you closed your eyes
It all comes back
Time to feel it again

The child is back
Time to feel it again
The child is back
Time to be me again

My whole life
I thought I was whole
What I thought was wrong
Now my world is gone

All these years
I’ve wasted my time
With all these feelings
Remaining inside

Buried young one
Child inside
Rotting child
Corrupted inside

The idiot’s face
Is on your face
Distorts and squeezes
The horror of ruin

The idiot’s face
Is on your face
Contorts and bleeds
The horror of ruin

May all this pain
Come back to you
May all this pain
Return to you

The hate from the past
The child from the past
The child from the past
Made my reality at last

credits

from Bloody Knees, released April 28, 2014

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all rights reserved

tags

about

Precious Child Los Angeles, California

Musician-activist, Precious Child makes sad and angry Nu-Metal Pop. Working with the medium of music and video, the Los Angeles-based trans woman culls sonic inspiration from industrial, goth and metal to create fluid work that intimacy in love, intimacy in abuse, and power as well as powerlessness.

All music and vocals by Precious Child
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